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The Art Of Letting Go: Learning To Forgive And Move Forward

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  • Lifestyle
  • 7 min read

Letting Go is the art of forgiving others for their past, their present, and their futures. We do this for a number of reasons: to find peace in our lives, to heal our painpoints, and to move forward with our lives.

When we forgive someone else for something that happened in the past, we are helping that person move forward in life. We are also showing others that they can trust us again. When you can forgive someone else’s past actions, you will have a greater sense of self-worth.

You may be thinking, “forgiving people doesn’t work” or “I don’t have time to go through this again”. But would you rather have the gift of forgiveness or no gift at all? Would you rather continue to hurt or continue to not acknowledge what was done to you?

Would you rather remain angry with them or hear them out? Would you choose to forget what happened or choose not to let it define who I am today? These are all questions that need to be answered before choosing how to forgive.

The power of forgiveness

At the root of many painful experiences is forgiveness. We are more likely to take what we’re given and make the best of it, using all the tools we have to forgive and move forward.

But what is forgiveness? How do we find it in our hearts?

Forgiveness comes in many forms, and different people at different times in their lives need different types of forgiveness. We call some forms of forgiveness greater or lesser crimes, depending on the severity of the crime committed against us.

As a psychotherapist, I focus my practice on forgiving people at all stages of life. I believe that learning how to forgive is an art, like painting or music or anything else. The more wrongs you feel you’ve been forced to suffer at the hands of others, the more difficult it will be to find true forgiveness.

Who should you forgive?

At the root of every forgiveness gesture is a choice to leave behind an opening for another to enter your life with love, care, and responsibility.

If you don’t yet have the willingness or the know-how to choose forgiveness over punishment in your life, you should learn how to do so.

There are many ways to forgive, but the most common response is to say “Yes,” but what else can you say?

When we refuse to acknowledge our anger and pain and respond with a non-anger response such as punishment or forced cooperation, we are building more distance between us and what happened rather than healing it.

We may be able to leave behind the feeling of unworthiness that forgiveness can create, which only makes things harder to resolve later on. We also run the risk of making things worse by being so forgiving that we no longer care about others’ actions or feelings.

Can I ever forgive myself?

This is a tough question to answer. Replaying my past lives in my head makes me realize just how many times I’ve hurt and disappointed people.

I’m not sure if it’s possible to forgive myself, but I know I can forgive other people. When I was a child, I didn’t know what it was like to be hurt and rejected. Since then, I have had too many relationships that have gone wrong, and not enough that that went right.

I have spent so much time trying to make things right that I have almost forgotten what being forgiven means. When I am in the present moment, instead of thinking about the things that happened years ago, I need to be able to forgive myself and others.

Can you see yourself doing any of the following actions? Facing your mistakes with humility and grace.

What is the difference between forgiveness and forgetting?

When we forgive someone else, we’re choosing to let them continue to hurt and experience pain in their life. We are allowing them access to the stages of forgiveness, and allowing them to be in a place of healing.

On the other hand, when we forget, we don’t hold a specific memory in our minds that reminds us of what happened. We don’t feel a sense of accomplishment when we recognize that we have forgiven someone, or can remember an incident without difficulty.

Forgetting is a choice ourselves. We can choose to not hold onto bitterness and hate but only if we do what comes next in the forgiveness process.

Blame cannot flow through forgiveness — only freedom can occur.

What should I do if I cannot find it in me to forgive?

If you’re reading this article, you probably understand what forgiveness is and how it can make you feel more comfortable in your life. You may also be aware of the different types of forgiveness, such as complete forgiveness, partial forgiveness, and re-forgiveness.

What if you cannot find the word “forgive” on this list? What if you couldn’t bear to let go of something as small as a $5 bill? If that were the case, you would not be reading this article. You would not be learning how to forgive.

For many people, forgiving does not feel like a choice. They do not have the power to choose whether or not they want to forgive, so they keep repeating their requests for forgiveness until it feels like it actually affects them.

If someone has hurt you, try to find a way to let them know that they are forgiven.

What if they do not ask for my forgiveness?

Then what? What if they do not ask for my forgiveness but go ahead with what they did wrong?

If you are looking forward to the answers to these questions, you are very much on the right track. But if you are still running towards your past, then you are truly in trouble.

If you have made a bad decision and continue to live with that, then you will most definitely lose your faith in God and in yourself. You will also be more prone to addictive behaviors and self-destructive actions.

If you have been forgiven too soon, then moved forward with your life has been overshadowed by the need for forgiveness from someone or something else. But if you have been given it too late, then all of the following points can be adjusted accordingly.

How can I learn to forgive others?

When we’re hurt or mad at someone, we don’t usually stop to consider what they may have been through or what they may have experienced.

We don’t stop to think about how it might affect their heart and mind. We don’t consider how their behavior affected them when we were in that same situation.

We just snap and do whatever it is we are mad at them for. We can’t let go of what we feel because we are still connected to that feeling. We can’t let go of the person because then we would be free from that feeling, but only when we are in the freedom to forgive will our whole self relax and heal.

When you can forgive people, you will be able to move on from the things that make you feel bad and hurt. You will be able to focus on the things that make you feel good instead.

How can I learn to forgive myself?

Most of us have been programmed to believe that we are responsible for everything that happens to us. We’ve been raised to think that our actions determine our futures, and that we have the power to choose how well we live in the present and how well we respond to life’s situations.

This is one of the biggest lies we’ve ever been told.

We’re not alone when it comes to forgiving ourselves, but there are ways of forgiving that don’t come from a true place of love and self-compassion.

We’re all so afraid of being judged or being labeled as something we aren’t, that we literally don’t want to look at ourselves in any meaningful way.

When you judge yourself, you are actually looking at your past, thinking about what I was/am/can’t/shouldn’t do/did/invalidated/etc., and putting a label on it. You’re also putting a piece of yourself out there for others to see, which can be feelngly very hard.

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